Monday, May 11, 2015

Mom Confessions

Disclaimer: If you are a guy reading this... probably only my dad and husband, you may want to skip this post.

Happy belated Mother's Day to all of those mommies out there. My first mother's day was filled with plenty of snuggles with little princess after a weekend away. I think I made it back to Atlanta in record time.

A new perspective on this holiday has brought up how much mothers devote to their families. Truthfully (sorry mom) I don't think I realized how much mommas sacrifice for the time devoted to growing and nurturing their little ones through life.

Here are some new mommy confessions I have learned along the way:

- I didn't know how much of my life would be spent breastfeeding. As in like most of your day the first few weeks was solely spent with that little baby and your hoohas. And boy is it hard. Hard in the aspect of trying to get in-sync with new baby and new body but also trying to cope with being the sole provider of baby's nutrition. While I liked a glass of wine in the evenings, I had to time it just right for the next feed. I also had to watch what I ate for the chance at upsetting her tummy. Aaron would be so kind and offer to let me run errands solo but I still had to pump or feed... so I was never "off the hook." I could write a whole post on this topic alone but the pressure women give each other on this topic is unreal. Mom guilt is a real thing and ever present on the topic of breastfeeding. Around six months, my supply dropped. It could be attributed to Mary Tilman's solid foods or pumping three times a day at work. I got stressed and worried not just about her nutrition but what people would think of me. Was I a slacker and weak for giving up? After supplementing with formula (because we powered through the freezer stash) I realized that stressing was not helping the situation so we started on formula only. Yes I have guilt (but she did get her first ear infection while she was BF-ing so that wasn't antibody preventable) but I also have the time to enjoy her more without stressing. I don't have to make marathon Target runs or worry about having some "me" time. So mommies... do what you need to do and forget all the negativity that may will come.

- Your new body may never be the same. I have stretch marks that appeared during the last month of pregnancy and make me so self conscious. I have a mom pooch that pushes me to want to wear my maternity business pants eight months later. I have the intense desire to wear a cover up the entire time I am in a bathing suit. But.... my new body created this miracle that I am so blessed to have. After going to the doctor last week she was so excited I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I said "Yeah but things are in a completely different place than before... all jiggly." She proceeded to break the news that it may never be the same. I am learning to love this "new" body and being thankful for the reason it is this way.

- I am one that doesn't like to have regrets but if there is one throughout this whole process it is to accept help in order to make time for myself. I see independence in Mary Tilman already and that is without a doubt a trait she got from me. My viewpoint: I can do things so much quicker if I do them myself. While on maternity leave, I rarely napped while baby napped. I was too busy cleaning, preparing dinner or other household tasks. I regret this decision and recommend not doing it to any new moms. Take the time to read a book, get a pedicure or take a nap. Go on a walk alone. With having a new baby and the title Mom, comes the loss of time and reflection on yourself. When I was stressed, baby was stressed (and so was hubby). Next time around, I will make the effort to relax a little more and soak in some more alone time.

As hard and trying as some of the last eight-ish months were, they are some of the best. This little girl is beautiful, funny and simply amazing in every way. I am beyond thankful to be her momma and guide her into this great big world. I am also thankful for all the mommas in my life have done for me. They have fed me, clothed me and taught me big life lessons along the way. I have been shaped by my momma, grandmother, aunts, mother-in-law, friends, and many more throughout the years.

May each day be a Happy Mother's Day!

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